Emerald City baseball fans cheered today when Jason Goldman, Commissioner of the Adult Baseball League, announced that the league had awarded a franchise to Seattle, but cheers quickly turned into head scratching when it was announced that the winning bid had been submitted by eccentric billionaire Walter Redlum.
Rumors of a Seattle franchise had been circulating for weeks, with most of them centered upon an ownership group spearheaded by Seattle Mariner great Edgar Martinez. Even Commissioner Goldman remarked that Redlum's bid for an ABL franchise came as a surprise. His bid, however, was as impressive as its reasons were mysterious: most notably, it includes a proposal to fully fund the building of a new Sick's Stadium.
Born in Minot, North Dakota, Walter Redlum famously learned the science of computers by studying books at the local library. Microsoft hired him in 1981, and over the next decade his software programming skills earned him a large fortune. In the 90s, Redlum used his wealth to fund research into the paranormal, especially cryptozoology. Spooky, as he came to be known, has claimed on multiple occasions to have found proof of the existence of Bigfoot and the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. Increasingly reclusive, Redlum sightings are rare events: David Letterman once quipped that that Bigfoot had discovered proof of Walter Redlum's existence.
Redlum himself did not attend the press conference, but he issued a short press release in which he remarks that "they" are trying to use the National Pastime against the good citizens of the United States and that someone has to stop them.
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